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Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please!: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

If you’re amongst the millions of baby boomers who is or wll be caring for an aging loved one, the Following  will prove to be an absolutely critical resource:
The Ultimate Caregiver’s Success System

Beyond Driving with DignityThe workbook for the families of older drivers

Knowing you are not alone
can be a great help

Stuck in the Middle: Shared Stories And Tips For Caregiving Your Elderly Parents

Could you use a guide that explains the Assisted Living maze?

Check out Ryan Malone's Book

The By Families, For Families Guide to Assisted Living: A Step-by-Step Guide to Evaluating and Transitioning to an Assisted Living Community

Carolyn Rosenblatt has authored this great series on senior issues.

The Boomer's Guide to Aging Parents: The Complete Guide

David Solie has authored this great book on geriatric and intergenerational communication:

How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders

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Family ... Relationships

You Want Me to Do What??

by Shelley Webb, The Intentional Caregiver

There's an old saying that granchildren and grandparents get along so well because they have a common enemy. (That would be the parent of one and the child of the same one.....in other words, US!)

I do remember some difficult times that I had with my own parents and of course, there were some difficult times with my children, as well, even though they turned out to be the greatest kids in the world! (I'm a little prejudiced.)

Some of these communication problems may be cause by what is known as "Generational Influences". Generation influences are those values and beliefs that have developed among the people of a specific generation. Of course, they will be different due to the life experiences of those involved and because of what was happening in the world at the time.

One of the most obvious differences is that those born in the "Great of Silent Generation (born 1922 - 1945) would be very uncomfortable with the communication styles of those in Generation Y (born 1981 and later) who rarely even use a telephone to communicate.

Another difference from a caregiving point of view is that while we baby Boomers (born 1946 - 1964) would like to help our parents (mostly from the Great Generation) toss "all the clutter" from their homes in order to downsize, our parents are aghast at our wastefulness. One of their values is saving, utilizing everything at least twice, and not being wasteful.

Below is comparision of the different generations as listed in The National Society of Health Coaches 2nd edition Pocket Reference Guide. I found them very interesting.

Look through it and see which generational beliefs may be causing a riff between either you and your parent or you and your child. Then consider what you can do to have more empathy for their beliefs.

Great or Silent Generation ( 1922 - 1945 )

  • Survived the Great depression; not wasteful, values saving
  • Values privacy, hesitant to share inner thoughts
  • Believes in hard work because it's the right thing to do
  • Values honesty; their word is their bond
  • Communication and procedure are formal
  • Raised in an orderly society where roles and functions were clearly defined
  • Willing to sacrifice
  • Loyal to the organization
  • Communicates primarily through mailed letters, face to face or landline phone

Baby Boomers (1946 - 1964 )

  • Grew up in prosperous times; they were against "the establishment"
  • Value hard work for the purpose of getting to the next level
  • Enjoy climbing the ladder to success
  • Team players
  • Fight for causes they believe in
  • Health and personal growth are important
  • Loyal to their work and profession
  • Communicates primarily through email and voice messages

Generation X ( 1965 - 1980 )

  • First of the "tech" generations
  • Don't trust institutions for long-term security
  • Adept, resourceful, clever
  • Work to live, NOT live to work; want balance
  • Like fun in the workplace
  • Take the fastest route to get results; protocal is secondary
  • You can tell them what you want done, but not HOW
  • Loyal to individual career goals
  • Communicates primarily through cell phone, texting and e-mail

Generation Y ( 1981 and later )

  • Want rationale for what they're doing
  • Rarely impressed by new technology
  • Have good work ethic
  • Don't like starting at the bottom; "the one who can do the job best should get the job."
  • Skip steps to achieve what they want
  • Want immediate results and action
  • Loyal to people in the group
  • Communicates primarily through instant messaging, text and on-line social networks

Doesn't this explain a lot????

Getting mom to exercise it’s about keeping it relative

As a teacher of movement and balance exercises for seniors in Independent and assisted living center, I run across a good number of seniors who are used to sitting and doing nothing during the course of a normal day. I find this to be true also of most over 80 seniors who are home bound. […]

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